Small thoughts casting long shadows

I've always loved growing plants. Loved gardening, loved growing fresh produce and eating straight from the veggie garden. 
And I've always loved art. Making it, seeing it, thinking about it. 

When I was 20 I had a baby, and for the next few years I was a stay at home Mum who managed maybe 2 paintings a year if I was lucky.And I naively thought,"One day when I'm ready to go back to work that job might become available and I might really like that job."

Fast forward almost 13 years and low and behold, the superman that held the job for 24 years was ready to retire and the job became vacant. So I went for it. 

And I didn't get it. 
In the end, neither did anyone else, because the job was put on hold for 6 months.

Which gave me time to become accountable to myself, and be honest with myself. It gave me time to re-discover the sea yet again, and connect with some bloody awesome women along the way. And paint. 
And decide to "do it", what ever it may be.

Then the job came up again. And I went for it. 

This time, I was successful.

Triumph.

And panic.

Did this mean I wouldn't be an artist anymore? Would I be able to maintain the momentum and passion in both occupations?
Would I have the time for the sea? 
Could I be a passionate practising artist and a passionate and dedicated gardener? (Cause that's the job, folks.)

Can I?

After 30 years of winging it, I've reached an official trial period in my life. Once the dust settles it will hopefully all fall into place. I've got every intention of doing it all. 

Does this mean anything for accountability? Only that there's another realm of life to be accountable in. There might be a few tweaks. The Monday blog will essentially become the Sunday Blog. Goal check ins will still happen. Art will still happen. And pushing my little Figments & Glimpses barrow will still happen. 

There'll be a lot more walking involved in my days, which hopefully will translate into more energy (once I get over the sheer exhaustion of the jet-lag transition) and there'll be a whole lot more outside time. 

It feels like that vague thought all those years ago has cast a very long shadow which has impacted my whole direction, and more and more I'm starting to really believe that the universe gives us what we need and what we want, if we just trust in it and let it flow with an open mind and a solid gut-full of gratitude. I feel lucky.

And if someone could just invent another day in the week reserved just for going to the beach, well, that would be just fine with me. 

xx
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